I need more screens

User: “I need more screens. I want to have all my applications displayed on their own screens.”
Tech Support A: “We can’t do that. The 8 screens have used up all the ports on your quad-card on your 2 computers. The mounts allow 2 screens each and you have used up all 4 on the desk.”
User: “Why don’t you add one more level to the poles?”
Tech Support B: “Because it won’t be possible to mount the screens even if that’s possible. It also strains your neck. Plus, no one is sure whether the desks can hold the weight of a person. If the desks collapses and we get injured, insurance doesn’t cover us. And it’s still impossible, the computer can only support 4 screens each.”
User: “Then give me bigger screens. Replace all these 19-inch ones with 22-inches.”
Tech Support A: “I don’t think there’s enough space to mount them.”
User: “You can put them at an oblique. I can live with that. The business manager will approve the cost.”
Tech Support A: “… “
Tech Support B (me) *thinking to myself while listening to the whole conversation*: “Dafug? It will be the same 8 applications looking bigger on the new screens. The business manager will just smile and approve the cost; and raise the target of your annual revenue. No problem if you wanna work harder for the company for the same thing.”

- Posted by lycan2046

There’s an app for everything…

Shared by a user on Facebook. Repost with permission.

There are many really weird customers out there. A customer lodged a complaint in a long-winded letter…

And then it was discovered that she bought the wrong version of the app - the one for a Windows Mobile device instead of the one for BlackBerry.

There an app for everything… just make sure it’s for the right device.

1 note 

- Posted by lycan2046

Phantom Down Times

Shared by a user on Facebook - Repost with permission 

I used to support a customer many many years ago (won’t mention the name - relatively big company) whose system used to go down about 4pm every Saturday. It would come back up after about 5 minutes. For the longest time I couldn’t figure out why - and I used to go through all the UNIX scripts and logs to figure out what was happening. Finally I asked the adminisrator to take me through what happened at the premises every Saturday from 3:30 onwards.

Finally I figured out what was happening. They were shutting off the mains at 4, and the aux power would come online 5 minutes later! Took us almost 3 months to figure it out! :)

1 note 

- Posted by lycan2046

Mouse

User: How is it that this batch of batteries in my Bluetooth Wireless mouse are expended quicker than the last batch?

(Some users should never be allowed to use advanced technologies if they don’t even understand that 'some batteries are more equal than the others'. Or else Eveready batteries would cost as much as Duracells.)

- Posted by lycan2046

Keyboard

One of the user apparently wants her keyboard changed… and has made the following comments:

1. This keyboard looks the same as the one I used in my previous company 10 years ago. (Fact: For goodness sake, the keyboard design has been the same for almost as long as PCs exist!)

2. Can you take a look at my keyboard? The gap between the keys appears to be bigger than the one my colleague is using. (It almost make you wish you have a vernier caliper to measure the gap of keys between the two keyboards just to prove the difference is minute to the user.)

Makes you wish she would just cut the crap and just buy her own funky keyboard if she didn’t like the one provided by the office. We’ll all be happy to install the new keyboard for her just to end this nonsense.

- Posted by lycan2046