October 2010
4 posts
There's an app for everything...
Shared by a user on Facebook. Repost with permission.
There are many really weird customers out there. A customer lodged a complaint in a long-winded letter…
And then it was discovered that she bought the wrong version of the app - the one for a Windows Mobile device instead of the one for BlackBerry.
There an app for everything… just make sure it’s for the right device.
Phantom Down Times
Shared by a user on Facebook - Repost with permission
I used to support a customer many many years ago (won’t mention the name - relatively big company) whose system used to go down about 4pm every Saturday. It would come back up after about 5 minutes. For the longest time I couldn’t figure out why - and I used to go through all the UNIX scripts and logs to figure out what was...
Mouse
User: How is it that this batch of batteries in my Bluetooth Wireless mouse are expended quicker than the last batch?
(Some users should never be allowed to use advanced technologies if they don’t even understand that ‘some batteries are more equal than the others’. Or else Eveready batteries would cost as much as Duracells.)
Keyboard
One of the user apparently wants her keyboard changed… and has made the following comments:
1. This keyboard looks the same as the one I used in my previous company 10 years ago. (Fact: For goodness sake, the keyboard design has been the same for almost as long as PCs exist!)
2. Can you take a look at my keyboard? The gap between the keys appears to be bigger than the one my colleague is...
May 2010
1 post
April 2010
1 post
March 2010
4 posts
“Hello, IT Dept? Yahoo is broken, please fix it. I need to get my emails”
– common IT support calls received from users… regardless of which company you work in.
1 tag
Joke - Upgrading Boyfriend to Husband
Dear IT Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such...
1 tag
Joke - Upgrading Girlfriend to Wife
Upgrading from Girlfriend to Wife - Last year a friend of mine upgraded from Girlfriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving few system resources for other applications. He is also now noticing the Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child-processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomenon was included in the product...
2 tags
Floppy Drive Error
This happened some time in 1997, right around when PCs were transitioning from 5.25 inch floppy disk drives to the new 3.5” drives. Yes it’s a true story.
A new secretary was hired for a director in my company. Barely a week into her coming on board, we received a call from her. She was upset and said she had very important data for the director on some disks, but the PC always error...
February 2010
7 posts
My Computer Still Hang
Around 8:20 am one morning several years ago
*RING*
Me: Hello. Good morning! IT support. How can I help you?
User: Hi, morning. I can’t unlock my computer.
Me: Do you mean the computer is hang? When you move the mouse does it respond?
User: Nope. Dead as well.
Me: Ok, that confirms it. Can you restart the computer?
User: Ya, I did. I pressed the power button and it won’t work.
...
Your Computer Not Big Enough
clientsfromhell:
Client: “Well, how big is your computer?”
Me: “My, uh… How big?”
Client: “Yeah. How big? Is it big enough to handle a big sign?”
Me: “Well it’s a newer MacBook Pro so, like I said, I shouldn’t have any trouble.”
Client: “No, like how many inches?”
Me: “Um, well… It has a 17-inch screen.”
Client: “Well that won’t work. We need something that’s thirty or forty inches wide....
3 tags
I Need Bigger Monitor, No More Space!
This incident happened sometime in 1997 or 1998, I forgot. During those days, 17 inch and 19 inch monitors were a “luxury”. Most of us were still using 14 and 15 inch CRT monitors. Oh yes, during those days, ALL monitors were CRT. LCD monitors weren’t mainstream yet.
One morning we got a call from a user of some importance. She was the regional comms and PR manager so her call...
ID-Ten-T Error →
An explanation of a common IT support acronym.
1 tag
My Screen Very Dim!!
This is a story related by a colleague when he was with IBM. IBM was a vendor for many large companies and my friend’s job was to provide tech support on behalf on IBM to the customer.
One day he received a call from one of the customers. The user (not an employee of IBM) was complaining that the everything on the CRT monitor is very dim. After patiently running the user through steps to...
3 tags
No Lights!
One of my earliest memories of user tech support hell was this.
I was working at a local transport-related company. We had point-of-sales systems spread out across the country, located conveniently at MRT stations. This was the call we got:
User: Hello, IT Dept? The modem here at XXX Station no lights! I turn it on and off many times already, still no lights.
Me: Ok can you check the cable,...
“The problem lies between the keyboard and the chair”
– unknown, circa 1995